October 27, 2006

BOB #2

It's time for another test. I know I'm doing this at a late hour, but I wanted to get it done. I haven't been attending class regularly, nor have I been doing my homework, which will all show on the test. But, despite my bad habits, I'm still going to try and go to class. I have to be straight forward and say that I'm a horrible student, and me not coming to class is just me demonstrating how lazy I am. It's nothing to be proud of. There are things I need to work out with myself, tendencies that I shouldn't have to begin with. I really don't know how they developed, but I have them and they're a problem for me.

This however, has nothing to do with Mr. K's teaching methods. Mr. K is a great teacher, and instead of taking a grasp at this knowledge he's trying to pass on, I take it for granted. I seem to be pushing aside my own knowledge as well.

I think to myself how, for the last couple of years, school seems more like a chore to me, instead of something I'd want to do. I know that growing up I was always excited to learn new things, and take it upon myself to do some independent research on my own; not for marks, but for self gratification in knowing that I can attain all the knowledge that I can.

I assume that my interest in learning was never encouraged enough as a child, but I don't think I should try and find excuses for my behaviour. I suppose I'm just rambling. My point is, that I'm far from prepared, but I'm willing to face the consequences that I only brought upon myself. I know I'll feel ashamed and embarassed when I can't fill out the questions or I'm done before everyone because I won't know the answers. I did this to me, no one else, and I'd rather have you all know this now, instead of shaking your heads tomorrow. This test is not only questioning my intellect, but as well as my integrity.

Good luck to everyone else on the test.

1 comment:

Lani said...

Hi JessicaJill,
You've shown much courage as you honestly share with your fellow classmates your lack of effort in calculus and school. That says a lot about your integrity!!!!

You mentioned that school seems more a chore, instead of something you'd want to do. I'm interested in what you'd want to do and if that would include more independent research?

In addition, I'm wondering if now that this unit is done, can't you turn over a new leaf? a new beginning? and use the blog to help you catch up?

For one of my favorite quotes says:
"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down." --Mary Pickford (1893 - 1979)

Do you think so?